If you're worried about a child, encouraging them to talk can be very helpful, whether you're a parent, grandparent, friend or teacher.
If you think a child you know has a problem, it can be hard to know how to start talking to them about it.
When there are problems at home, such as parents fighting, divorce or a death in the family, children can become withdrawn and upset.
Being able to talk to someone other than a parent is sometimes very helpful for children. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, teachers or even a counsellor can all offer support.
Look for clues in their play
Children express themselves through play as well as words. You can learn a lot about how they're feeling by simply spending time with them and watching them play.
Stressed and upset children often play fighting games with their toys. Comment on this by saying, "There are a lot of fights going on" or "It seems pretty frightening". This can help to get them talking about what's bothering them.
Even if you do not start a conversation, you'll be making the child feel more comfortable with you, paving the way for them to open up to you about their problems.
If you can get them talking, gently ask what's wrong. But if the child does not want to open up, let the subject go. You can then repeat the process at another time until they're ready to tell you what's bothering them.
If a child is too frightened to talk
If you're worried that a child you know might be being abused, it can help to ask a question like, "Is mummy getting very cross with you? You can tell me about it if you want to".
A child might not understand that they're being abused. They may simply see it as a parent being angry or annoyed with them.
Children who are being sexually abused often do not talk about it because they think it's their fault or they have been convinced by their abuser that it's normal or a "special secret".
查看更多有关spotting signs of child sexual abuse.
Children will often ask if you're going to tell anyone about what they've told you. Never promise not to tell, but explain that you'll only tell other people who want to help.
如果您怀疑虐待，请鼓励他们打电话ChildLine(0800 1111) or ring theNSPCCyourself (0808 800 5000) and get advice about how to report it.
If a child is aggressive or misbehaving
If a child is fighting or being aggressive, they're doing it for a good reason, and talking may help you discover the reason.
Start by telling the child that their bad behaviour is unacceptable and why – for example, because it will harm other people or get them into trouble. Then offer them the chance to talk about why they're angry.
这可能不会立即起作用，因为生气的孩子可能不会立即听你。不要放弃。孩子们知道何时表现不佳，重要的是要找出原因。
查看更多有关帮助您的孩子解决愤怒问题.
If your child is worried about scary news
In this digital age it is virtually impossible to stop children from finding out about upsetting news events, such as terrorism, war and violent crime, that they may find traumatic.
Advice from the Mental Health Foundation includes:
- do not try to blackout all exposure to news; this is both unlikely to succeed and could actually increase their fears
- be truthful about what has happened
- let them know it is normal to be concerned and tell them you're also concerned
- encourage them to ask questions if they seem unclear about what has happened
- reassure them that you will do everything you can to keep them safe
The Mental Health Foundation has advice about talking to your children about scary world news.
If your child is grieving
Young children do not always understand what death means. It helps to explain it by saying, "Nana's died. She's not going to be with us any more."
Watch children carefully if someone close to them has died. If they seem tearful or withdrawn, encourage them to open up about how they're feeling by talking about the person who's died.
You could say something like, "It's very sad that Nana has died" or "I feel sad that Nana has died, and sometimes it's hard to understand why people die".
查看更多有关children and bereavement.
如果您仍然担心您的孩子
If you're still concerned about your child after talking to them, see a GP for further advice.
See sometips on talking to teenagers.